I need a drink

201 AM; I am numb. Lost more money at the indian casino. It was a menial amount, but losing sucks. It was 20 miles out of the way and it was the world's most broke ass casino. If you searched “broke ass” in the [urban] dictionary, there would be a picture of the Ute Mountain Indian Reservation Casino. The black jack table was $3 min/$5 max. I guess that was good for me as it limited my losses. The poker was awful. I'd rather be playing a home game with truth factor and some lojeks. Hell, i'd even quit touchin' AT's chips.

Highlight of the last 12 hours was a sink hole in Santa Rosa. It is always 61 degrees, full of beautiful fish, and crystal clear. Very refreshing. We are driving back in the right direction towards mesa verde to see the cliff dwellings tomorrow. Then Frisco by night, and some skiing in the morning. Keith won money. He is the man, but Cores said “dont let keith get drunk hes touch.” Whatever that means.
Love, bri.

PS: This is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were removed. And I'll put up all the good pics on webshots or something after we're est'd in frisco.

Camping in Carlsbad

Austin ==> Carlsbad, NM
The next morning we went to the most famous Mexican restaurant in Austin, which apprently has seen 4 hour waits on weekend nights. Matt's El Rancho. The food was pretty good, and we didn't even have to wait for a table. The waitress was beautiful and friendly and we traded contact info for a future rendezvous in some state or another. Then it was time to head farther west into New Mexico. The Stones are playing tonight in Austin but we won't be around.

The drive was probably about 8 hours. Of nothing. Speed limit was 80 mph, and I scored a speeding ticket like I always do for going 91, though i was on cruise control and locked at 85. WTF. Came very close to running out of gas (I felt like a Porter) but found the 1 gas station in a 100 mi. radius. The exit off the highway had 2 farms, a bunch of greenhouses, and this 1 gas station/general store. That was the town. Population 8. The store was full of at least 100 stuffed moose/deer heads and antlers. Such is Texas. We watched Gangs of New York in the car and drove and drove and drove until night hit when we drove some more. In our search for Carlsbad Caverns National Park in NM, we saw the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen, just outside of Pecos, TX, home of the first rodeo. I have 82 pictures of it for all to see. We pulled over on the highway to watch the sunset, throw the football, and listen to country music.

Driving through the New Mexican desert at night was scary. There was nothing but flatland and weird lights (this is where the aliens live), and a Church that followed us around throughout the night. Finally we found the park, set up camp, ate some hot dogs, drank a beer, and rolled a salvia cig.

Bed time was freezing cold, and I think that all 4 of us were snoring, making for a great nite's sleep all around.. But we survived the night and went through the Caverns, which were unbelieveable. It is like an underground city with stalactites and stalagmites and amazing formations. It actually goes about 1000 ft. under the earth's surface. I've got some pics, but it must be seen to be appreciated. A true wonder of the world.

Drove through Roswell, NM. It was not cool. Just like any other small town down here, with aliens on the lightposts and a McDonalds playplace shaped like a UFO. Now we are driving to a hot spring in Santa Rosa, NM en route to our destination state. A stop in Mesa Verde National Park for tonight is planned. Hopefully we will be at our Frisco house on Tuesday late night. I'll let y'all know.

The south was/is really cool. I could see myself sitting on the porch watching the sunset with a southern belle, listening to country music, wearing my cowboy hat, drinking homemade wine, and taking it easy. But i gotta go skiing first. And win Fantasy Football.

321: a lot of nickelback on the radio in new mexico. Me and keith are pumped.

Austin really is the greatest town in America.

After a long drive through the first half of Texas, we arrived in Austin, TX. It seemed to always be 40 miles away, and finally we rolled into town for a rendezvous with Vin and Brenda at historic Scholz Garten sports bar, just in time to catch the 2nd half of a stunning Rutgers victory. Went back to the hotel and showered up for a night out on the town. Keith was fighting a stye of sorts, which spread to infect Brenda and morphed into conjunctivitis. Or something. Our prayers our with her.

Downtown Austin is like Bourbon Street, but classier, according to Bohnsy. He's pumped that I called him that. Every establishment is either a music club or a bar. Highlights include a bar that had $1 beers, 12 oz bottles of your choice, just a dollar. Its sweet when you get 6 red stripes and 2 XX's for 8$ instead of $45. Lots of bachlorette parties. I asked one girl if she was getting married (she was wearing a tiara) and said in a sexy southern voice “I'm not married yet....” I was pumped, but had the morals not to be a homewrecker. Or maybe I'm just a pussy. Anyhow, every bar we went to was great, stellar live music acts. I even met a southern blonde that loves Phish and Keller Williams. We continued to party and talked to about 100+ people between the 4 of us, each one friendlier than the last. The town had an amazing vibe, though things shut down at 2 AM, when 1000s of people ramble through the streets. We ended up taking a cab to another hotel, but the people there were going to sleep, so we returned to our Rodeway Inn, and tried to find some late nite eats. While we were searching, the front desk lady calls. “My sister just dropped off some roast beef sandwiches, but I ain't gonna have 'em. I know y'all folks were hungry. Would you care for some?” Like a call from God. She brought us chocolate cake and roast beef sandwiches and doritos and Cream cheese for crazy Brenda.

Highway 61 Revisited/AUSTIN

Its noon (central) on Saturday morning and we are en route to Austin, TX. Everyone talks it up as an awesome city, and its the live music capital of the country. Should be sweet and full of blonde women. Unfortunately its an eight hour drive and I am slightly hung over after a bourbon street adventure.

I put a drunken picture of stunner as the desktop wallpaper, so he's always watching over me. Like Jesus. And Jim croons us with 60 richardson.

To bring you up to date, we left Memphis yesterday morning and headed towards the Great River Route, which runs along the Mississippi; a pleasant alternative to the lackluster highway. We flew down Highway 61 (think Dylan's Highway 61 Revisited) full of cotton field after farm after cotton field. It is straight up Coontown. We passed a prison in the middle of the fields and saw all the inmates dressed in black and white stripes out on a basketball court surrounded by barbed wire. Just like Shawshank. Among the highlights of the drive... while cruising at 70 mph, a black bear cub decided to cross the highway. We were safe, but it was certainly the last thing we expected.

There was a town along the way, Tunica, Mississippi, full of casinos. If we played we got a free buffet. In the end, my buffet ended up costing $100, thanks to an ice cold craps table. I felt down and wrote a country song about it...

Drivin down highway 61
thought the casino's might be some fun
so we, drive through the cotton fields in the tunica sun

7-out, line away
i go upstairs to the free buffet
and hang my head in my wooden salad bowl.

Got back on the interstate in Vicksburg, MS and it was a straight shot to Nawlins. We met up with Adam (peggy) and Reid at her southern palace with a FEMA trailer across the street. NO hates FEMA. But the south loves God and church. Took a cab down to bourbon street and had a delicious oyster dinner, then walked up and down Bourbon Street, drinking in the streets (greatest). There were some good live music acts, and a lady who put a condom on her head over her nose and breathed through her nose until the condom exploded on her head. She parties. Then as we were leaving, Reid put her cup on the ground and some giant biker threw the cup back in the car and shit went down. We were prepared to defend the honor of a southern belle but ascertained that 4 250-lb ponytailed bikers might be able to take me, keith, adam, and our friendly cab driver. So we hit the road for some local college bars and these 18 year old girls were buying us drinks but then they weren't and we played pool, awfully, for hours and kept on winning somehow.

We rambled on back to Reid's house but the door was locked and Adam didn't asnwer the phone, so we pitched a tent (literally) on the front lawn and slept there till morning when it was time for biscuits. Thanks for the Southern Hospitality guys. Off to Austin... (not Lavin).

224pm – just crossed the state line into Texas. “Proud home of President Geroge W. Bush.”

Walkin in Memphis

Its 320 AM/220 AM central. Keith is looking for shows on TV and I am updating the website. just like i thought it would be. we got lost in the slums of memphis but ended up finding the most ghetto super 8 motel and finding a place to hang our heads for the night.

the day started leaving bristol, TN/VA. god knows. we drove 3 hours into nashville and it
was pretty cool. checked out some authentic tennessee bbq and took a tour of the ryman auditorium, home of the original grand ole opry and the birthplace of bluegrass. lots of sweet musical history.

after that, we drove 3 more hours into memphis. when i say "we drove" i mean I DROVE. Keith just kept sweating a lot and rolling the window down in the freezing cold rain so that he wouldn't sweat as much and smell. He just keeps sweating.

Memphis was the best of towns. it was the worst of towns. After navigating thru the slums to our hotel (which looks like its cursed, smells pretty bad...has black cats walking through cornfields which children inhabit), we took the shuttle to downtown memphis/BEALE street. full of neon lights and old schoool blues. we started at the Rum Boogie, where every notable musician, from Trey to Billy Joel, has ducked in and performed at one time or another. An amazing blues band, their house band, played there, and we split a catfish/pork/ribs/gumbo/redbeans and rice dinner. it was amazing. everyone in town was so nice, like our old lady tour guide, and the tour guide at the opry. we watched endy chavez's once-in-a-lifetime grab, and moved onto bar after bar.

The first bar, the FLYING SAUCER, had some 200 varieties of beer and the hottest girls I've ever conversed with in my life. They all had phenomenal bodies, long blonde hair, and wore short plaid skirts with fuck me tattoos. Some cool guys from town told us about memphis and bought us guiness's. sounds sweet right?

then we went to coyote ugly where the ho's dance on the bar. they weren't that cool and we were the only people in there and these ugly bachelor party chicks told us to come with them and we did and got mixed up with some bums that keith paid like 8$ to and he got drug tested at the homeless shelter and i lit a cigarette for him. his name was herb and he got 9 years in prison for stealing 20000$+ from a warehouse. then some chicks gave us the finger and we got drunker and came home

sweet. malcolm in th emiddle is on. i joked with keith that he woudl be watching TV and i would be updating the website at 2 AM instead of us doin something else. Well....I was right.

Southern Hospitality

Chili Peppers were awesome.
Wed 12:38

Getting gas in beautiful carlise PA. Just had some subway. It was awesome. Keiths dad is more of a quizno's guy, but hey, watcha gonna do. He made us pancakes. Dad's just know how. Tryin to find a cool thing to do on the way down route 81. and trying not to fall asleep.

My day began like any other, a walk of shame at 6 AM ;), the morning poop, no breakfast, and driving. I am horrible at packing, but we managed to get everythign in the car, along with some of grid's belongings. Unfortunately the subway is repeating on me. Oh well. They like country music out here. And pickups and bumper stickers. And i'm only 1 state over. Off we go.
13:09 – Just passed a Weis.

Visited Virgina Tech and it was BEAUTIFUL. no karen proto to be found though.

Thursday Morning - 8:30 Anyway, we're in an Econolodge, owned by the friendliest grandma in the south, in Bristol, TN. Or maybe its Bristol, VA....the town is cut in half by the state line. Retarded. Highlight of my night was singing kareoke to a nearly empty (yet giant) honky tonk bar on the state line called the "Rock 'N Horse." If you've seen the Blues Brothers (original), think of the place they play all the country music at and get beer bottles thrown at them. That's where we were.

Among my hits were "How am I doin'" by Dierks Bentley (homage to Kevin and Mike and BECKY?) and Paul McCartney's "Maybe I'm Amazed."


Our plan for today is to drive West for about 6 hours to Nashville, which is full of bars and live music, and a great open mic scene (the guitars are packed in the car). I use too many parentheses. I feel like I'm on tour, performing at clubs all along the south. Keith is my tour manager and has so far avoided prison and sex....surprisingly enough.

Keith stepped in poop and dragged it into the car. Fucker. I leave you with a picture of us driving into the Virginian sunset.